Before Making Arrangements

We encourage you to read this section with your family so that each of you may share your thoughts and ideas for the funeral. By inviting everyone, including children, to help plan or take part in the service, you show them that their feelings matter.

This is a time to be understanding of each other’s needs. You are each experiencing grief and loss in your own way-be gentle with each other. Accept each other’s feelings and use this opportunity to share them.

You may face the challenge of balancing your loved one’s dying wishes with your own needs as mourners. Know that it is okay to put the needs of your family first. Seek to fulfil the essence of your loved one’s wishes, rather than the specific details.

Allow yourself time

You may feel that you need to put the funeral behind you as quickly as possible. If so, we encourage you to rethink that approach. Sometimes, families see the funeral as a painful experience and simply want it to be over. It helps to understand that the loss of our loved one has caused our pain; the funeral can and should be the instigator of our healing. In deciding on a day and time for the ceremony, be sure you have allowed enough time to consider and carry out all your preferred options.

Considerations that may require additional time

• Relatives needing to travel
• Opportunities to view your loved one
• Preparing service sheets
• Preparing memory displays
• Compiling a photo story
• Preparing the eulogy

Information required by law

When a death occurs, there is a legal obligation to register the death with the Registrar of Births, Deaths and Marriages in that state. The Registrar asks for information as part of the process of registering the death.

• Information to assemble before meeting to discuss arrangements:
• Date of birth and birthplace of the deceased
• Marriage details-where, when and to whom
• Children(s) names and ages
• Parents’ full name and occupations